Hi Melissa, great start to your elevator pitch! In general, I would be a bit more direct and quicker with your tone and wording to keep the listener avidly engaged. While I think small-talk and jokes have their place in pitches, I think you might want to hold off of the “riding in elevators is just about as fun as…” in the beginning of the pitch. If I were you, I would start of bold and direct, so that the listener immediately assumes that you are completely knowledgeable and self-assured. Again this is a great start and I think with a couple of tweaks this pitch could become something really exemplary!
Hi Melissa, Although I like your hook in the beginning of the video about riding the elevator, it might be more direct and professional to simply start with a bold statement to engage the reader/audience. You do a great job of communicating your idea and why it is needed. Your problem/solution is very important, and I look forward to hearing about your idea throughout the course.
Hi Melissa, great start to your elevator pitch! In general, I would be a bit more direct and quicker with your tone and wording to keep the listener avidly engaged. While I think small-talk and jokes have their place in pitches, I think you might want to hold off of the “riding in elevators is just about as fun as…” in the beginning of the pitch. If I were you, I would start of bold and direct, so that the listener immediately assumes that you are completely knowledgeable and self-assured. Again this is a great start and I think with a couple of tweaks this pitch could become something really exemplary!
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I like your hook in the beginning of the video about riding the elevator, it might be more direct and professional to simply start with a bold statement to engage the reader/audience. You do a great job of communicating your idea and why it is needed. Your problem/solution is very important, and I look forward to hearing about your idea throughout the course.